So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
