Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
