I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize