Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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