ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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