He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
