just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
