You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
my poor anus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
