i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
