Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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