you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
