Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
