i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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