we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
