i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
