theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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