I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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