We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
