probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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