There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize