I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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