Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
