I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love you.
Bad choice
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