apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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