the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
