I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize