YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
