Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
