did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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