Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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