if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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