They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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