he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
