butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
