**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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