I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
