i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
