So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Drake has all the answers
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
