What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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