Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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