Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
