shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
