It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Mom said you looked used
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
