Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
