screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
