There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
