All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
