he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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