I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
