So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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