How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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