If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize