I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize