Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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