Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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