Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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