I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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