Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize