i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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