What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
