i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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