I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
